Charlie McDowell, the husband of Emily in Paris actress Lily Collins, came forward with frustration over the attacks he and his wife have experienced since the latter announced the arrival of their baby girl, Tove Jane McDowell. Baby Tove has been welcomed through surrogacy, a pregnancy option that evoked a host of mean remarks online. Living in a world where celebrities are judged for just about everything they do, the decision by McDowell to address negativity head-on about their choice marks a poignant moment in the ongoing public debate about surrogacy.
The Announcement and the Backlash
On January 31, 2025, Collins announced the birth of her daughter via an Instagram post and expressed her gratitude to her surrogate and everyone who supported them through difficult times. “Words will never be able to express our boundless gratitude for our remarkable surrogate and to everyone who helped us on our journey,” Collins wrote in the post, continuing with “We love you to the moon and back again.”
While many followers left warm wishes in the comment section, several critical voices rose in protest over the ethical dilemmas regarding surrogacy. One such commenter argued that surrogacy exploits impoverished women, a modern form of “renting uteruses,” while another criticized women like Collins of being “buyers” rather than real mothers. These comments frame surrogacy as an exploitative practice; this feeling is often brought about whenever major celebrities decide to take this route.
All the above reactions were positive, but soon it came to light that not all the reactions were positive, hence the need for McDowell to tackle these negativities head-on.
Charlie McDowell’s Reaction
The filmmaker and screenwriter, who is behind films such as The Discovery, was very quick to defend both his wife and the decision they made. In a follow-up comment to the Instagram post, McDowell said, “In regards to the unkind messages about surrogacy and our path to having a baby—it’s OK not to be an expert on surrogacy.” He brought out that people don’t have to understand the ins and outs of surrogacy to not judge, especially other people’s choices.
His post continued: “It’s OK to not know why someone might need a surrogate to have a child. It’s OK to not know the motivations of a surrogate, regardless of what you assume. And it’s OK to spend less time spewing hateful words into the world, especially in regards to a beautiful baby girl who has brought a lot of love into people’s lives.”
Lightening the mood, McDowell finished the statement with a joke about the need for changing the baby’s diaper, reminding him that he was moving from ‘infamous’ online aggro back to the no less real and personal world of nappy changes. His frank response was a call for understanding, at the same time reminding people that the world of social media is one space that houses so much negativity.
The Broader Issue of Surrogacy
The backlash McDowell and Collins have received reflects a larger conversation to be had about surrogacy, especially in the context of wealth and celebrity. Many critics single out surrogacy as an option available primarily to people of means and question whether it is a socially responsible practice. For many families, however, surrogacy is not about convenience or luxury; it’s a very personal decision impelled by medical necessity or a desire to avoid health risks in pregnancy.
Collins has made public her private struggles with fertility. In her 2017 memoir, Unfiltered: No Shame, No Regrets, Just Me, she spoke candidly of her struggles with an eating disorder that affected her reproductive health. The actress also fully confessed to her fear that the years of disordered eating may have affected her ability to have children naturally. This makes this decision all the more personal.
Of course, surrogacy is likewise becoming a more accepted path for many celebrities who are facing health issues that make it risky or complex to get pregnant. Other celebrities, like Kim Kardashian and Amber Heard, have also turned to surrogacy because of their experiences of extreme complications in pregnancy. Their decisions met similar criticisms; however, the media attention covered the conversation on this reproductive option and helped to normalize it.
Surrogacy: Divisive in Questionable Ethics
On the one side, surrogacy provides the opportunity to be parents to childless people or couples; according to opponents of surrogacy, such parents do not provide the required loving environment. On the other hand, surrogacy gives the opportunity to become pregnant to a woman in desperate need, an opportunity of an altered life that in most instances is considered very compassionate.
However, opponents indicate that it is prone to abuse, particularly in the cases where surrogacy has been portrayed as a transaction between rich families and women who can be financially vulnerable. Critics claim surrogacy contributes to commodification of human life, reduces it to “buying” a child, and questions what is right when pregnancy is considered a service.
More and more countries over the past decade have made the legality of surrogacy popular, either banning it or highly regulating the method to protect surrogates as well as intended parents. Other countries have welcomed surrogacy as a legal method of family building.
Wrapping Up
Despite the critics, McDowell and Collins can’t get sidetracked by the haters about the growing family and love they share for their daughter. The two have expressed that parenthood is not an easy road they traveled, but they both appreciate those who would understand why they chose to do so. As hard as the backlash was to process, McDowell’s response makes a very important point: there is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenthood, and kindness and respect should be at the forefront of any conversation about the personal choices people make regarding their families.
While surrogacy has been an issue that tugs at the very core of ethics and emotion for society, stories like those by McDowell and Collins remind one that, with it all, there is a child who will need love and protection-regardless of how birth occurred.
